Saturday, August 2, 2014

"50 Shaders Trounced At BDSM Club"
And Some Advice For The Curious

UPDATE:  Some people on Fetlife are making plans to go to openings of the movie with information. For info, join the 50 Shades Welcoming Committee:
      https://fetlife.com/groups/102959
This is also a place for the new & curious to ask questions.

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I ran across this Fictional Parody by Sir Render on Fetlife and had to share it:

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
50 Shaders Trounced At BDSM Club

Los Angeles, California - February 15, 2015 - The hopes of two middle aged soccer mom's from Simi Valley were dashed last evening at an exclusive BDSM night club in Los Angeles.

"I couldn't believe we got kicked out," exclaimed Barbie Wanabe, mother of 4, and avid 50 Shades Of Grey fan. "I had just seen the movie with my friend, Suzie, and we decided to go to a club to try it. She got ignored and the guy I submitted to had us forcibly removed from the club!"

With the largest debut of any NC-17 rated movie behind it, the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon is just getting started. Following the success of the highly popular book trilogy by E. L. James, the movie portrays the romance between an innocent young girl and a controlling billionaire with a penchant for kinky sex. Barbie and her friend were out on the town seeking to fulfill their fantasies of being sexually controlled by a strong willed dominant man.

"When I kneeled before him, just like in the movie, he actually rolled his eyes at me," said Suzie Buttcuddler, "like I wasn't good enough for him or something. He just stood there with a blank look on his face. I've never been so humiliated in my life!"

The much anticipated movie and its portrayal of the BDSM subculture has been a subject of hot debate on BDSM web sites like FetLife.com since the book came out in May, 2011. Proponents of the book claim it will bring a new level of social acceptance to the subculture. Opponents of the book claim it will dilute the subculture with too many neophytes. Both camps agree, however, that 50 Shades of Grey will have a profound and lasting effect on the community. They only disagree on what that effect will be.

"The audacity of these two women is incredible," said Dick Inurhed, a club goer who witnessed the events. "I mean, here we are having one of our usual Saturday evening pansexual play parties and in walks Barbie right up to Harry, our gay Dungeon Master, and demands that he dominate her, right while he's in the middle of co-topping a scene his boy is doing with another top! Then Suzie, fully clothed, just flops her awkward self on the floor in front of my friend Tom, the club owner, who's married and recovering from a hernia operation, and looks up at him like an expectant puppy dog. I'm really not surprised that he ejected them from the club, and with a full refund too!"

The often misunderstood etiquette and protocols of the BDSM subculture seem to have been completely ignored by the two Simi Valley women; but Barbie has a different perspective. "We read the books, we researched it online, and we saw the movie. These guys at the club just weren't doing it right!" she said in frustration.

"Yeah, we didn't do anything wrong," joined in Suzie, "there we were being submissive and everything and they were just rude and intolerant."

Barbie Wanabe and Suzie Buttcuddler are mothers, wives, PTA members and upstanding members of the Simi Valley community who were just out on a Saturday night looking for a new experience. Apparently, they got one.

Dick Inurhed is a master carpenter and skilled practitioner of BDSM for 30 years who heads a poly family of six in Orange County. Apparently, he's not doing it right.

Tom and Harry were not available for comment.

Contact information withheld to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.

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Copyright 2014, Sir Render. All Rights Reserved. Reprinted with Permission.

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Yes, we all know it's coming:



I agree with most of the comments that I have seen within the actual BDSM lifestyle that the books do not portray real, consensual BDSM, but instead they put forth the idea that an abusive relationship is okay. This is not something that I find acceptable.

On the other hand, they have inspired a lot of people to try spicing things up in the bedroom, which is something that I would encourage them to do regardless of the books. The movie will further the visibility of kink, but I would like to see it portrayed in a healthier manner, and I doubt that will happen.

Unfortunately, we're also just a little afraid something like the story above might happen - or worse - someone might really hurt themselves or their partner. So here's a bit of reading for our curious Soccer Moms and anyone else who wants to learn more:

If you're looking for more Kinky, Erotic FANTASY:
Begin with this great list.
Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey and a Much Better BDSM Fantasy Reading List:  by Casey Naidoo

If you REALLY want to PLAY:
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is a really good place to start!

Greenery Press is the place to go for some of the best BDSM How-To and Relationship Advice Books. The Stockroom has all their in-print titles and lots of other good stuff.

If Want to go to a Play Party, Public Event or Dungeon:

What to Expect at Play Parties and Good Advice on Playing Sane for Newbies:
http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-101-etiquette-rules-play-party-1801951.html
It's always a good idea just to watch and learn!

Good, Basic Rules
Reading these will give you a clue as to some of the less obvious etiquette errors Suzie and Barbie made above, such as interrupting a scene. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS Follow These:
https://disciplinecorps.wildapricot.org/rules

And, yes, we all make mistakes, but there is something called common courtesy. I've personally walked though a scene myself because I was focused on something that I needed to do. When you're in a dungeon, you have to always pay attention to where you're going - and remember to leave room for the Dom's/Domme's back swing!

If You a Sincerely Interested in THE SCENE and/or THE LIFESTYLE:
In addition to the books mentioned above, join Fetlife.com and start reading. Began by looking for "Munches" in your area. These are meet and greet events where kinky people go out to a restaurant, have dinner/coffee with each other, and actually talk about normal things, like normal people. There's no play and you should not wear obvious fetish wear. In other words, dress like a sexy soccer mom, handsome computer programmer or whatever you are, and keep it real! :-)



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