Defined Lines

Speaking of videos, I love this FemDom... I mean ...Feminist... Parody of Blurred Lines:

Direct Link: http://youtu.be/L4WM4d_mhGM #NotFuckingPlastic!

Boys Need to Think on Their Feet & Anticipate Their Mistresses' Needs

Your job, as a sub, is to make your Mistress' life easier and more pleasurable. This doesn't have to be difficult, and you should get better at it as you get to know your Mistress, what she likes and how she likes it.

Something happened recently with a boy which I still don't quite understand. I assumed that any male, submissive or not, would know what to do and proceed to do it. Yes, I did assume rather than give specific orders, but this is one of those areas where it's just the normal thing to do, so you shouldn't need orders - or so I thought. I've debated over posting this because part of it is venting, but I've decided that it would also be a good lesson for anyone else who also needs a clue.

In this case, it was a sub who I had spent time with several years ago, but who didn't work out. He had contacted me, saying that his attitude had changed - that he had learned to focus on pleasing his Goddess rather than on himself - and wanted to try again. I wasn't so sure, but after some consideration I decided that it wouldn't hurt to at least meet as there were some aspects of him that I had enjoyed.

Said sub promised me a nice dinner as soon as he was able to do so, and knew that I wanted to go to a favorite steak place because I was craving their prime rib. Because of his work schedule and the distance between us, he said that he could only do dinner on the weekend. That was more than fine, however, it meant that we were going to this yummy steak restaurant, located in the plaza area attached to a large shopping mall, on one of the busiest nights of the week. This mall doesn't have a parking deck, and I knew parking might take a while and require a bit of a walk, as well as the wait at the restaurant itself. I confirmed that he knew where it was located, and then I called to confirm that they had the prime rib that night, and made reservations. After thinking about it, I also called to check on another restaurant, located only a couple doors away, that I also love. I was craving the second place's frozen, fruity drinks, and with the summer heat, I was considering whether I might prefer their lighter fare, but they were not taking reservations.

As it was nearing time for dinner, I realized that I was running late getting in the shower. I called and left him voice mail saying that I was going to be 15 minutes late - maybe more like 30 with parking. I knew he was already on his way, but assumed that he would use the time to find a good parking space and start making his way to the steak place to check on the seating situation. I didn't mention the other restaurant yet, as I felt it would be too complicated, and was still trying to decide which place I really wanted to eat... part of it really depended on the wait at the second place. I fully expected that he would be in, or near, the plaza by the time I got out of the shower. I have sent boys ahead to get a seat at a restaurant before. This time I was sincerely running late, but planned to call him, get a report and tell him what I wanted him to do from there.

He left me voicemail while I was in the shower saying that he was on the way and had gotten my voicemail. I called him back after I got out of the shower to check in on things. I asked where he was, and this is what I truly do not understand: He said that he had gone to the mall, but had only been able to find a space way out on the perimeter. He had been sitting in his car (Goddess only knows why!) and had gotten hot, so he had moved his car to a parking lot a mile away, on the other side of the freeway, and was just sitting there, waiting, in the shade!

I told him to get his butt back over to the mall and find parking, to check the other restaurant that I was interested in and get on the wait list there if the wait wasn't too long, but first to call the steak place and move the reservation later (as a backup) since it was already past time for our reservations. This is all stuff that he should have already been in place for and able to do. He said he didn't know the number for the steak place, so, a bit exasperated,  I said fine - that I would handle it. Sitting there in my towel, I used my smartphone to look up the number and called to move the reservation. Later, over dinner, he mentioned having a smartphone with the same OS as mine, so he could have called just as easily as I did, and not wasted my time while I was trying to get dressed. As one of my better boys said when I told him about this, even if you don't have a smartphone, use 411. "That's what phones are for!"

I quickly finished getting dressed and went over to meet him for dinner. Parking took some patience, but I was able to find a space on the same side of the plaza as the restaurants and closer than expected.

Just as I was parking, he called me and said, "We have a problem." I asked what was wrong. He said that there was some sort of performance going on on the plaza (it was just some local bands playing) and, that he couldn't find any parking! I told him I had literally just parked close to the restaurants, and that he just needed to be patient with it. I walked by valet parking as I approached the restaurants, so asked the attendant if it was available and how much it was, and then I called and told him that it was there if he needed it. Next, I went by and checked on both restaurants - getting on the waiting list, with a beeper, for the second one, and took a seat on the plaza just outside of it to listen to the music and wait on him.

Now, I ask you what is wrong with this picture?


After this happened, I asked several boys to make sure that I wasn't expecting too much:

• They all agreed that for any date, whether with a Mistress or not, they would have parked close by and would have gone to the restaurant to check on things.
• Some of them would have also offered to pay for the valet parking for me if I needed it, assuming that they saw it or knew that it was there. 
• They all would have found a way to contact the restaurant to change the reservation and would have found the number to call on their own, either by searching from their phone or by calling information. (If he wasn't sure about the exact restaurant name or street address, he could have easily asked me, and I expected him to do so if he needed more information on either restaurant.)   

Most of all, they agreed that it was their place to make things easier for me, and that they would have done the best to take care of things while they were waiting on me. And that they would have done their damnedest to make sure that I was not stuck waiting on them. 

The main issue that I see here is a lack of initiative on the part of the potential sub. If you are applying to be a personal service submissive, you should be thinking ahead and suggesting or doing things to make your Mistresses' life easier. Instead, he sat there and did nothing, which, by default, put it on me to take care of things. To make matters worse, he wasted my time by actively moving away from things rather than moving forward to handle them.

Also, sometimes I am also too nice. In retrospect, I should have made him call and handle the reservations, both beforehand and when moving the time. 

Obviously, I have not seen this boy again, and don't have any plans to do so. 

Using Written Punishments & Cock Control Training To Help Couples

I decided to cross-post the below from the report in my InHerService.com blog. I would love to do more training of this sort with male submissives, and I do believe that it can be used to help enhance their relationship with the Goddess in their life, or to help prepare them to be ready to serve Her when she comes along, as well as to improve their treatment of all women.
* * *

When we started, I knew that SeekingP only intended to train with me while his Lady was out of town for a few months. While She has been gone, we have worked on his porn addiction and the fact that he needs to focus on Her service and pleasure rather than on letting his own selfish habits take his time and attention away from her. We have also worked on his disrespectful actions toward other women, such as his tendency to stare at their assets as they walk by on the street.

I am really glad to see that my combination of written punishments and cock control have made a difference for him. While I am sad to see him go, I understand that now he needs to focus on his own Goddess. And I do have to say that she is a very lucky lady to have such an intelligent and sensual boy who knows that it is his place to please Her. The fact that he noticed that his focus was straying from Her and took steps to change that speaks well of him. I would hope that I could help other committed couples in much the same way.

I don't think a few sessions will solve every problem, and do believe that long-term reinforcement may often be required. Since SeekingP was straightforward with me, I am happy to help, if at any point, he finds himself slipping or in need of additional training, and would welcome working with him again.

* * *

Dear Mistress Magick,

I am happy that you have accepted my lines and have granted me an orgasm.

It took me a bit of time to start on this set of lines. I had used up almost all the pages of my legal sized notepad, so I had to go to the stationary shop and get myself a new pad of paper. I also had come down with a bit of a head cold, which was making me rather slow and tired. But after I assembled the necessary stationary, I started on my lines. This set of lines seemed to go quite slowly. It seemed to take a long time to even approach the half-way mark. But the lines were doing their job of reminding me of what's important and what I shouldn't do.

Going to work in the morning after having spent part of the previous night writing my line was a good experience. I could hear and feel my line in my head, reminding me that I was *not* allowed to stare at and ogle women. My focus should be on my Goddess, not on disrespecting random women in the street.

During this time, I'd been working on completing a To-Do list of things that I want to do in preparation for my Goddess's homecoming. It is now just a short time until she will be home, and I want to do what I can to welcome her, make her feel special and comfortable. And I'm also looking forward to the sex that we will have, and I've been fantasizing about all the different ways I want to pleasure and pamper her when she gets home.

I was happy when I finally finished my lines. I waited for your response and was happy to be granted an orgasm, as at that point it had been more than a week since I'd had one. It is amazing to know that I can go for a week or more without cumming and that such a schedule can begin to feel normal to my body, compared to sometimes having multiple orgasms per day when I was in charge of my cock.

I received your email on Thursday morning, so I'd have to wait until Thursday night to give myself an orgasm. I followed your instructions, thinking about my Goddess and all the ways I wanted to pleasure and pamper her. This was easy, as her impending return already had me thinking about the things I wanted to do to welcome her back, and all the different ways I want to kiss and lick her. I edged 4 or 5 times over the course of 20 minutes, and then finally pleasured myself until I went over the edge. The orgasm felt good, then I quickly licked my seed from my hand before it went cold or my arousal subsided. I don't enjoy the taste of my cum, but there it was...I thus cleaned up my mess and then went to sleep.

I am proud of myself, as it's been nearly a month since I've engaged in my porn habit. Instead, I've been able to focus on doing more productive things and on how I want to treat my Goddess and and our sexualities. But I also know that a month is not a lot of time, and that it is still quite easy to fall back into old habits, spending hours viewing porn on the internet. But so far I've been good, and I intend to really try to keep it up (no pun intended). My Goddess will now be home in a week, so I want to fill this week full of chores that I can do to make the house clean an welcoming for her return, as well as fantasies about all the different ways I want to hug, kiss and pleasure her when she gets back. Upon her return, I think it will be easy for me to focus on her and be a good submissive servant. In the longer term, it may be harder, but it's a challenge that I'm up for.

At the moment I can't think of other behaviours that I would like to address in this way. I feel that my behaviour has improved over the course of the last month, and now I'm trying to focus on my Goddess's return and on how I want to focus my sexuality on her.

In submission,
SeekingP

Written Punishments, Cock Control and an Excellent Punishment & Infractions Report

The report below, published with permission, is a illustration of why certain boys ask me for written punishments. It is from a new punishee, not WP2, whose better reports I have been publishing in my InHerService blog.

The first boy who approached me for written punishments (neither of these two) asked to be made to write lines and submit fines for his disrespectful acts toward women, such as cutting them off in traffic, or leering at certain parts of their anatomy. (I now call these punishments "lines and fines" because that is exactly what they are.) He wanted me to role play as a judge, representing the Court of Women, and punishing him for his misdeeds toward the better half of the human race.

Around this time I asked my boy, ed cantor, if he could see me, a loving Domme, in the role of a firm and strict "Lady Disciplinarian", the title given to me by this boy, to which he responded with a lovely piece, called simply "Disciplinarian" which some of you may remember. It reminded me, with the warmest glow, that a firm hand sometimes shows more love than a permissive smile.

As I started giving this first boy his punishments, I found that the Superior Female/"Goddess archetype" in me was really enjoying handing them down. I asked him more about the culture of written punishments, and was directed to a Yahoo Group dedicated to them. I joined and am really enjoying being a part of the group. I have learned a lot there about new and different types of written punishments: essays, copying, etc., as well as ways to make writing lines more difficult.

I also now have a WP Assistant there, johnj, who helps me with researching new assignments and potential punishees/trainees. He is great at brainstorming, gives good feedback, and if I ask him to do something, I know that it WILL be done, and promptly so.

The group itself has more of a classroom/school days focus, with weekly homework essays, students being punished for acting up in class, etc. Like the boys that I am training off-list, I do generally prefer a more adult approach. I have found that the boys who come to me off-list usually do so for one of two reasons:

- They want to be punished for activities that are not suitable to be discussed on a PG-rated list. These included excessive masturbation, leering at women, porn addiction, causing women to go out of their way to bend over so they can get a better view, fingering a female friend's unworn panties, etc.

I'm starting to combine punishments for boys like these with cock control, requiring chastity while they do their punishment work, and only potentially allowing a release, as I dictate, once their work has been completed and accepted by me. Obviously, this is a strong motivator to finish their task. At the same time, it teaches them to better control their urges and to focus on respecting women rather than on using them for their own pleasure. It is my firm belief that a man's penis is for the pleasure of the woman (or women) in his life, and that he will gain the most pleasure from it when he learns to focus on her needs and desires instead of on his own selfishness.

- They want to be punished in ways that they can't be on the list.

The biggie is the desire to send me lines so that I can tear them up. After many years of refusing offers from boys who wanted to buy me a webcam (I didn't want one because I didn't want to cam), I finally gave in for one of these punishees. It has always been my feeling that going on cam in an intimate way is a sexual service and is often very slutty. (I also wish to protect my identity for work reasons.) Therefore, as a Domme, it has always been my policy that I do not cam, but I do enjoy watching boys cam for me as long as they are respectful, focused on me, follow orders, etc. In this case, I am videotaping only my hands as I tear up the lines or essay. Therefore, it is not live, and only shows exactly what I want it to show. The "careful exhibitionist" in me does enjoy that part, and I'm contemplating doing future videos of just my feet, etc. For now, I have a couple boys who are willing to airmail me their work from the UK just so that I can tear it up!

I can also have boys wear certain items (panties, male thong, cock ring, etc.) or do their writing in certain locations, in order to remind them of the reason for their punishment and/or make them feel more submissive while doing it. These additions are not allowed for on-list assignments, however they can add significantly to the experience. Reading some of WP2's reports shows just how much:
- http://www.inherservice.com/2010/09/written-punishments-in-library.html
- http://www.inherservice.com/2010/10/caught-writing-lines-while-wearing.html


I must admit that I am finding the written punishments combined with cock control to be a huge turn-on and they are often my favorite. I'm enjoying having trainees write for other reasons as well, such as improving their health, or recreating a memory or fantasy from another time, and I'm even starting to combine off and onlist training for some boys whose training is less sexual in nature. This is because we enjoy the exhibitionism of having them report the punishments on the list and/or because it adds an element to the possible punishment (being under the list rules adds the possibility of expulsion from the list) for list members whose tasks are not completed in a timely manner. I may write more about that later.

For now, I will leave you to read the report:

* * *
Dear Mistress Magick,

Thank you for accepting my work, it makes me happy to know that the work was up to your high standards. As you noted, the scanner itself has seen better days, and does produce some spots.

I will remember your suggestion of a thank you paragraph if I'm required to write lines to you once again.

Thank you for granting me an orgasm, it was enjoyable to give myself release on your command. You requested that I think of and report on other offences:

In terms of other porn-viewing occasions, there are so many that it's difficult to know where to begin. I have been interested in porn and kinky porn for many years, and have spent quite a lot of time viewing it. I have nothing against the production or viewing of porn per se, though I find that the way porn is produced and consumed is quite symptomatic of the subjugation and objectification of women in society. However, I often have found myself spending many hours viewing porn, in search of the one picture that really does it for me and takes me over the edge. These are hours that I'm spending on my own pleasure, rather than doing more productive things for myself or for my Goddess. The submissive in me finds the waste of hours of time looking at porn to be unacceptable.

However, one common situation does stand out to me. My partner is an early riser and often goes to bed before me. I am a late bird, so I would often not go to bed with her, but rather stay up a bit later. Often I would feel horny and end up staying up very late, viewing porn and masturbating. And I would usually feel guilty afterwards...I should have been pleasuring and hugging my Goddess, but instead I've wasted my time objectifying other women and focusing my energy on them.

The other thing that I've felt deserves to be punished is my sometimes leering behaviour on the street. I smoke (yes, I do want to quit at some point, but not right at the moment. And when I do I think I want to keep quitting and my kink separate.) so when I'm at work I go outside the building and smoke. When I do so, I often find myself pacing around and turning my head in order to have a look at the buttocks of women who walk by on the sidewalk. Now, I think it's somewhat natural to look at an attractive person who walks by. But it's another thing to do so in an obvious way...and I think I cross that line sometimes. Especially when I'm feeling horny, I will leer at the bottoms of the women who walk by. I would like to change this behaviour, and I have to some extent, but there is also something quite natural and automatic about eyeing attractive people who walk by. I feel that some discipline might do me some good, though I also struggle to find a good strategy to avoid leering. Do I stare at the ground instead? There is just something so natural about watching the women walk by, I struggle to avoid it.


As to my feelings being punished, I found the experience quite powerful. I had to muster the courage to ask for a punishment on the list. Requesting punishment is a weird thing. I didn't think I'd really enjoy writing all those lines, so requesting something that will be less than pleasant is a weird thing. But I also kink on it. One thing is kinking on the punishment and having a sort of play 'offence' to justify it. But if it is something that I really feel bad about and want to change, then it somehow goes beyond just play somehow. Because a lot of kinky play is activity that I really like...but writing lines?? But I asked...and waited for a response.

I was quite excited when I got your response. I have found that anticipation can be very stimulating, guessing at what your punishment might be. I thought of doing the lines not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to improve myself and also obey a dominant woman. So that was a happy, nervous sort of anticipation. When I got the assignment, I was still quite turned on by the thought of the punishment. I savoured the opportunity to carry out your command.

Once I began writing the lines, I found it tedious, boring and painful. It was not really fun to spend all that time writing lines and having my hand hurt, even if I am a bit of a masochist. However, I knew why I was writing them and knew that I just needed to go ahead and finish. Wearing a thong while writing them also reminded me of my submission and my desire to be a good submissive slut. In my mind I thought that this punishment might help me to avoid the offensive behaviour, which made me hopeful at the same time. And I have to say I am proud that I now haven't viewed porn since the beginning of last weekend. Not really much time to be proud of, but it is nonetheless satisfying.

All that time, I didn't masturbate. With my lover not around and knowing I didn't have permission to orgasm, I found it was actually easier than I thought to abstain from playing with myself. When she is around, I think I find her presence arousing (as it should be!) and so chastity periods can be quite teasing and frustrating. But this one has been a bit easier, perhaps because I've started to exercise on a more regular basis in the last couple of weeks. I find that does alter the patterns of my libido.

When I finally finished all the lines, I was quite happy and pleased with myself. I scanned them and converted the files (I'm a techie IT person, but it still took me a couple hours to scan and convert!) and sent them off to you. Then began another period of anticipation. But we subs must learn that sometimes we have to wait. Would you accept them? Would I get an additional punishment? Would I be granted an orgasm. Submitting to your decisions in those matters is both slightly nerve-racking and also quite erotic.

I waited in anticipation of your email and instructions. When I received your email, I was joyed to hear that I could have an orgasm. This morning, I did my 15 minutes exercise, then kneeled in the bedroom and masturbated to thoughts of you, of submitting to your punishment, of my Lovely Goddess, and of how it is to have someone else controlling my cock. I came in the shot glass. Then I tipped it back and drank it. It went down pretty quick. I really dislike the taste of my cum, I just don't enjoy it. It was quite difficult to do, but I know what my orders were and carried them out. Drinking my own seed feels quite powerful, as it really is something that I would *not* follow through with if left to my own devices. But I did it, and it feels like a very submissive act. I also feel there is a sort of justice to it, since I am 'cleaning up my own mess' instead of leaving stains on bed sheets, underwear, etc. So it's powerful, but I'd definitely say I'm not used to the taste itself...I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Now the taste of a woman, on the other hand... :)

And so that's where I am now. It's after midnight, but I still feel like I can feel a bit of the salty protein-rich taste on my tongue. And another day has past in which I have not viewed porn. And now I wonder when my next orgasm might be...since I have agreed that that is not in my control right now.

Thank you for taking the time to punish me, and for controlling my cock. It is a sometimes contradictory and strange journey, but I find it quite captivating and exciting. I guess that's sexual submission.

Thank you for reading these rambling notes I have written.

Yours truly,
SeekingP

Foot Fetishist Training Video: Don't Be That Creepy Guy!

4th of July, Troisieme Prise: Bastille Day & Beyond

Wow, it's been a HOT July! ... and not just the temperature. ;-)

About a week ago, a sub commented that I hadn't been updating my blogs recently. I thought that I had, but when I looked at them, I realized that they have been somewhat quiet. I've actually been much more busy than normal, however I was spending all of my "free" time mentoring the boys who were still completing my July ribbon assignment and getting to know the "standouts" from the group who had actually completed it on July 4th. In all, I had eight boys do the assignment: four on the 4th itself, and four on or around Bastille Day. Things are quieting back down now, as I knew they would. It just takes a while to shift through them to find the true treasures.

One thing that stands out: the two boys who ran out to buy ribbons on July 4th so that they could do the assignment on the proper day (even though they found out about it late) are also the two that I would consider the "cream" of the newbie crop. In fact, the one that I am now formally considering actually used something else to start the assignment the night before, then ran out to get the ribbons as soon as he could the next morning. He proceeded to spend an entire 24 hours in them, on my orders of course, even after having been tied up the night before. He was one eager boy, and still is, but in an a very enjoyable and delightful way.

By contrast, a couple of the boys who opted to do it later were at the exact opposite end of the spectrum. The main difference that I see in those who really excelled and those who were more work than they were worth is exactly that, respect for my time - as well as a focus on me as their Mistress, and it being an experience through which they were serving me, and a pleasure that we both shared. The worst two expected far more attention than the others, and, in the end, they were only really focused on their own pleasure.

I'd decided that using my assignments to screen potential new online submissives would be a much more productive use of my time than my previous series of email questionaires. I do think that is still true, but I am also being reminded that there will always be a certain number of wankers and jerks out there, and that sometimes I have to be hard on them. I hate having to write letters like the below, but sometimes it's necessary:

*

You disrespected me in private.

You failed to complete your assignment in a timely fashion.

You disrespected me *and* embarassed me in public.

All within less than a week.

As far as I can tell, you are not sincere or submissive, and are just a horny boy looking for a cheap thrill.

I don't mind occasionally training such boys if they are respectful and if they tribute. However you have done neither.

I'm done with you.

Magick

*

It is true that sometimes I honestly don't mind a boy who is just doing it for the turn-on, as long as he is honest, respectful and values my time. However, please don't expect me to give you my attention all day long when you aren't really willing to give me a reasonable exchange of energy in return.

I've decided to attempt to make prodcutive use of this experience by providing some "do's" and "don'ts" for your future reference.

I've already posted some examples of reports from the boys whom I enjoy the most when it comes to their ability to express their intimate and sensual ideas in writing.

You should also be aware that I get reports from others which I also greatly enjoy, but which aren't as flambouyant, or whose authors are more shy about having their words shared. Don't feel that you have to live up to ed and capn. Just be honest and respectful, use some common sense, and focus on my service and pleasure.

... And, well, don't do any of the following (yes, these are real examples from this most recent assignment):

- Email me asking if you should get the thick or thin ribbon, and which work better on your cock. I can't see the ribbon and I've never seen your cock, so how would I know? If I give you the leeway to be creative, I don't want to be bothered with that kind of detail. If I cared, I would have specified the width in the assignment. If you can't decide, do what the boys who excel do: Buy both, and tell me about it in your shopping report. Then I can decide if I want to select one for you to wear, or to have you wear both.

- Email me from the ribbon store at 5am my time, expecting a response. Yes, I forgive you for forgetting the time difference, but I really shouldn't have to hold your hand like that.

- Email me after 11pm the night before you are to wear the ribbons asking for my approval...doubly so when you are already expecting to do it on the last official makeup day, and have had weeks to prepare.

- Decide on your own makeup date, and proceed to do the assignment on that date without my approval.

- Delay your shopping because you want to do something to please me that isn't part of the assignment or otherwise ordered by me. I might like the surprise, but not if it makes you late. And, often, these are things that you are actually doing in order to please yourself, not me.

In this case, I really didn't care if you wore panties and hose to go shopping, and using your desire to do so as an excuse after the fact just shows how focused you were on yourself and your own fantasies. If you had actually asked, I would have told you 1) not to wait to change into them if it would make you late and 2) that I would find it far more sexy for you to wear them with the ribbons!

- Write repeatedly in you report about how the other women around you turned you on, including a picture, taken without permission, of one of the other women. As one of my other boys said, that doesn't even go over well in vanilla settings! Yes, I did say that when some woman caught your eye, my ribbon would remind you of who you belonged to, but well, that last part seems to have been completely forgotten in your report.

Predictably, this boy has a wandering eye, and has shown me in other ways that he isn't loyal enough to be considered for formal training with me.

- Ask me in our first real chat what panties I am wearing. I am not your porn, and if I want you to know, I'll tell you.

- Plan to come serve me in-person when you haven't even successfully completed an assignment in my service. Doubly so when you are already in a committed relationship, and know that I only seek unattached boys for my in-person service. Once again, this is an obvious sign that you were more focused on your fantasy than on my needs as a Real Woman.

Pseudo-Subs: Fantasy Wankers

"Mistress, I'm only here to please you. Will you do x to me?"

"Yes, Mistress, but will you do x with z and then do k?"

"Mistress, but, will you do x, y, z, k & c to me? I am only here to please you."

Top sign that you might be a Fantasy Wanker:
Do you keep changing the conversation or redirecting it back to your own desires/fantasies?

Real Submissives focus on their Mistress' desires, revealing theirs as she is interested in hearing them. It is her job to weave them into their play in ways that they can both enjoy.

Fantasy Wankers focus on their own desires, but think that their dreams should automatically be a "service" to a Mistress, because it is in their fantasy. In reality, She may have no interest in that activity whatsoever. These are often the guys who should go to Pros, in that they are expecting a service: to have their fantasy acted out exactly as they desire.

Many Fetishists can fall into this category, in that they need their fetish to be done in a very exact way in order for them to enjoy it. Even though they may be very sincere, they aren't actually submissives because they aren't submitting to the desires and service of their Dom/mes.

That being said, sometimes I do enjoy that type of Fetishist if they are respectful, and if I share their kink, such as foot worship, crossdressing or certain types of role playing. However, they do have to be flexible enough for me to enjoy playing with them, and respect the value of my time. I can really get into and enjoy planning a fantasy and experiencing their reaction to it, however I am still performing a service for them, rather than having them serve me, as I might desire something completely different that day. As such, I do expect them to tribute for my time and attention, especially since they are not able to give the level of service and devotion seen in a true D/s relationship.

What I Desire

As some of you know, I've accepted ed_cantor into my online service. He just wrote me the lovely piece below. While some aspects may be pure fantasy (limo?), it's a very good description of the type of D/s relationship that I desire. Not one focused on scening/play or SM, but rather a loving and enduring D/s dynamic focused on service, pampering, etc. The fact is: the more I feel pampered and pleasured by my boy, the more advertuous I am in regard to the ways in which I enjoy him.


I see you desiring a softer, more subtle service than stereotypes present, or that seem described by the word "scene." I see myself with you, near you, beside you... but yours. I can be dressed up, taken out with you, though perhaps with a hint of my position given in something that teases the eyes or the body. Maybe it is lace panties beneath my suit, maybe it is a piece of special jewelry, or a thin collar under my shirt and tie.

I open doors for you, I help you out of cars, I hold out your chair. I pour your wine. I get your coat. I call the limo back. I unlock the doors and hold them open for you at your home. I slide your hair aside as I massage your shoulders. I stand when you wish. I open my trousers at your command. I slide them down to my ankles. I give you the tie from around my neck, breathing deep as I can only watch you wrap it around my hardening cock and throbbing balls. With that new leash, you pull my to my knees, and guide my head under the hem of your gown.

Bliss.

An Image Worthy of the "Porn for Women" Calendar ~

The new potential didn't show up. I am always amazed at the way some jerks can offer to "do anything for you" one night, promising you their undying service and devotion, saying that you are everything that they have every wanted, etc., etc., etc. only to turn around the next day (literally!) and chase after someone else. *shakes head* It is so hard to find a sub... or any man... with real loyalty & integrity, and a commmitment to more than his cock!

There are good guys out there though, and, yes, some of them drive me crazy too! But I am also glad to have them in my life. :-) My ex-pantyboy-now-friend helped me today with moving a few things to my new place, and packing up most of the stuff in my kitchen. He took me out to dinner in the middle of everything, and afterward we went back to his place to relax. We cuddled and watched TV while he did laundry, and we baked a chocolate cake together. When we got hungry, he served me some of his yummy homemade chicken soup, and then fed me grapes. We exchanged backrubs. And, of course, I had to inspect today's panties. Black & pink were our colors when we were together, and he still wears panties in those colors, especially ones made of lace (rather than the fabrics he favors), when he is planning to see me. These were black lace thongs, outlined in bright pink, with a cute pink bow at the front waist.

Most of the pics I took aren't okay to post. However, I was really enjoying watching him swapping laundry and had to share this one. VERY yummy! It's definitely worthy of the "Porn for Women" calendar. And doesn't he have great buns? ;-)