Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Pseudo-Subs: Fantasy Wankers

"Mistress, I'm only here to please you. Will you do x to me?"

"Yes, Mistress, but will you do x with z and then do k?"

"Mistress, but, will you do x, y, z, k & c to me? I am only here to please you."

Top sign that you might be a Fantasy Wanker:
Do you keep changing the conversation or redirecting it back to your own desires/fantasies?

Real Submissives focus on their Mistress' desires, revealing theirs as she is interested in hearing them. It is her job to weave them into their play in ways that they can both enjoy.

Fantasy Wankers focus on their own desires, but think that their dreams should automatically be a "service" to a Mistress, because it is in their fantasy. In reality, She may have no interest in that activity whatsoever. These are often the guys who should go to Pros, in that they are expecting a service: to have their fantasy acted out exactly as they desire.

Many Fetishists can fall into this category, in that they need their fetish to be done in a very exact way in order for them to enjoy it. Even though they may be very sincere, they aren't actually submissives because they aren't submitting to the desires and service of their Dom/mes.

That being said, sometimes I do enjoy that type of Fetishist if they are respectful, and if I share their kink, such as foot worship, crossdressing or certain types of role playing. However, they do have to be flexible enough for me to enjoy playing with them, and respect the value of my time. I can really get into and enjoy planning a fantasy and experiencing their reaction to it, however I am still performing a service for them, rather than having them serve me, as I might desire something completely different that day. As such, I do expect them to tribute for my time and attention, especially since they are not able to give the level of service and devotion seen in a true D/s relationship.

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